The Game Where My Fascist and I Argued Over Who Was Hitler

Game night. We pulled out our tried and true classic Secret Hitler. My friend dealt our roles. As soon as we finished our eyes closed round, one of our friends announced that he was Hitler. I scoffed, “You can’t be Hitler because I am Hitler!” The sentiment echoed across the table like we were Spartacus.

When the laughter settled and our first vote happened, my friend was elected chancellor. “You guys are making a mistake,” he shook his head, “I’m telling you, I’m Hitler.”

Another friend looked at him. “Are you serious? We can end the game now, if you’re serious.”

“I’m serious. I’m Hitler.”

I chimed in. “Guys, I think he’s a fascist.”

“Why?”

I leaned forward, like I was telling a secret. “Because I’m Hitler.”

We went back and forth for a couple of rounds before anyone interrupted us.

“I’m starting to think they both just want chaos.” One of our friends said. They had been clearly becoming exasperated.

“One of them is definitely Hitler.”

We continued to argue about who was Hitler and who was the Fascist until we were a single fascist policy from the president taking a player out.

“Guys, we have a decision to make here.” The friend who was president played a fascist policy that allowed them to shoot a player to take them out of the game. “One of them is Hitler…but which one do we shoot?”

They opted to shoot our friend who made the claim in the beginning. He wasn’t Hitler. The game continued. Then, the moment of truth came.

“I nominate Steph as my chancellor ‘cause I trust her.”

Everyone had forgotten I spent the entire game arguing that I was Hitler. I was elected Chancellor and the fascists won the game. Because I was, in fact, Hitler.